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Beast Boy Steps Into The Light

by Switchblade Mantis

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1.
We were just meant to hang like bats This room is a cave The shades keep it black This house is perch we've shared for 18 years Despite the dripping pipes and the smell in here We were just meant to hang like bats Because our skin-tight skin Is a glossy disgusting shellac Like wendigos in the Northern cold We spent our teenage years in the woods behold The glorious tree fort and the deer skulls The Axe can blowtorch versus frozen pools Like wendigos in the Northern cold Our youth is scars on trees from our rutting claws We're on the wrong side Of the caution tape But I'll love you Anyway In the car in front of the hardware store Five cans of paint in an anxiety storm My tongue felt fat but I told the truth I said "I don't know if I'm gay." In the car in front of the hardware store You said perfect words You said them perfect ways You said "I'm not sure, but maybe not being sure is the way." On the night you said that you'd kill me Every one had had some Bicardi Your girlfriend and I drew back and forth Flirty things, little monsters On the night you said that you'd kill me You put our drawings in your mouth and you swallowed them Literally We're on the wrong side Of the caution tape But I'll love you Anyway On the night you said that you'd kill me The voice in your head wasn't a fantasy It was a fucking sign that you were not okay Creepy cracking sounds on a frozen lake On the night you said that you'd kill me You weren't a cool creature You were a terrifying beast On the night you said that you'd kill me I got away you didn't see me leave I ran all the way home and I blocked my door With my guitar case and a 2 by 4 On the night you said that you'd kill me I was so scared and it's the only time I've ever cried myself to sleep We're on the wrong side Of the caution tape But I'll love you Anyway We were just meant to hang like bats I still sleep near in the same room that You threatened my life and it's totally fine But you really would have killed me if I stayed that night We were just meant to hang like bats And despite it all we're still the monstrous brothers in black
2.
Eat one and half cigarettes Picked from your front lawn Flowers blooming nicotine In the early evening The dirt, the grit, the bitter The bugs inside my sweater Are using their legs to find my veins And clicking their teeth to enter my skin There's a coat made of ticks trying to find my heart If I keep it on long enough they'll make me thin I'm an ugly fat fairy Eating trash heap toothpaste The lypocytes won't touch me The fat with shrivel sideways And when they come to get me Oh god when they arrest me I'll eat my way from the back of their car I'll comp through foam and I'll chew through bars Because I'm the famine spirit you brought on yourself Bulimia nervosa is your funeral spell Eat a roofing tile Pavement black and vile You scale up to the roof scape You crawl against the angles You kick me like you mean it You drag me by the ankles And throw me in the oven on a Teen Vogue page The edges bubble and pop like tape worm eggs You gag on my burned body's plasticine taste The need to purge swells but you break its waves Eat a chocolate croissant Taste the flaking dough The guilt sparks in your skull cage A scintillating fear state Sloshing ballasts and stomachs You swallow the fat with a flourish And I get drowned by the weight of the food I know you're not better because I'm still in you But for some reason I can't leave your throat If you threw up I'd be free But I know you won't
3.
There was a growling of teeth And a gnashing of engines My sister in the back seat sharpening weapons The light fragments off the metal and onto her clothes In a hail of holy dogfire She burns across state lines I missed her in a barely detectable noise To be honest I didn’t believe her When she said she was coming home I learned to live with echoes of her on my phone There once was a dude who sat on a platform In the middle of a really violent lightning storm HIs job was to watch the nuke that hung by his seat I’ve always felt like that guy She always felt like that nuke I’m reading Twain in the rain she sways on the hooks But those days are gone At least that’s what I thought While the president sweat beads In a briefing about our love Tally-like gashes In ragged relief on the side of a van The graveyard shifters Hear my sister’s laugh therein Rattlesnakes arranged in a circle to Gusion Dog headed duke of the 40 legions Cyanocephilitic prayers on my floor The beauty that we built Became like hoarders’ junk A maze of hollow stuff that’s just in the way But the dead snakes twitched today I stood paralyzed in awe Dead snakes shouldn’t move And she was out there on the lawn Newscasters awake Pointing 32 cameras at the interchange Anticipating the carnage Like flinching slaughterhouse pigs Celebration for villains like us Is the kind of thing that makes humans throw up Greasy blood and fat drips on a tarp We’ll make art from the meat We’ll make songs from the screams No one bothers us because we Terrify the police X-rays bounce off fangs My dentist stumbles away afraid My laugh whistles past 32 new calcium blades And when we finally go to sleep On the first day she’s back and free There’s a pile of us there on the floor The last survivors of the first wolf war And somebody’s tail is in my face They keep wagging it in their sleep They dream of a victory chant That goes a little bit like this Nail and tooth The oldest weapons shapened anew These are your tools go out and put them to use

about

A few demos if you're curious what I sound like barking while holding a guitar

credits

released January 28, 2020

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Switchblade Mantis Boston, Massachusetts

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